Stories of Exclusion, Stories of Truth

The stories in Underground America were heart wrenching and inspiring. The voices of those behind the pages spoke to me in words of humility and openness, but most of all it words all-too-familiar, as the chronicles of hardship related to many people I know and/or work with. Estrella (p. 327-342) immediately recapped, in her own words, the story I hear and notice of many of the teenagers. Their lives, often characterized by a culture and social status not part of mainstream or privileged life, reflects differences beyond the scope of what I ‘assume’ most of my fellow peers have experienced. In the private sphere, the teens at Canal Alliance speak openly and not discomfited about their households, often referring to many people, much like Estrella describes.

“The apartment is a three-bedroom, one-bathroom…Two of my sister’s sleep in my room with me…everyone else sleeps in the living room. My mom, my dad, and my little sister…my dad’s sister, her husband, their son, and her husband’s brother were staying in the last room…”(p.330). Not in any way do I deem this appalling, especially if desired by a culture that often ‘keeps family close,’ but I speculate on its distinction from what is practiced by wealthy, white families, where each child is given their own room and space. The kids at Canal Alliance, and even in Underground America never emanate a tone of sorrow or protest, but always a voice with the vibe that ‘things are just the way they are.” The absent sense of entitlement is refreshing on a daily basis, a reminder of my own privileges, and a contemplation of “Is this child happy, safe, and comfortable?”

            As Estrella’s story continues, I feel her presence and picture her imagery, perfectly silhouetted by a student I work with. “My dad and I don’t have that daughter-and-father connection…It means a lot to some people when they graduate. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. But to my dad, that’s just stupid” (p.333). One girl in Leadership Group, often (unconsciously) speculates on her life or family and I feel a tension in her words about her parents. They are not close either and they lack the communication that I have described I have with my own parents. She sarcastically mocks her family, but I feel a deeper desire within her, craving the parental connection. Reflexively, she speaks of her parents, remarks or rules towards her, and as a teenager, is frustrated by their purpose, but as a person, is not yet aware of other factors influencing her life including culture, religion, and tradition. The influences of American culture, especially pop-culture, do not always coordinate with Latino practices and causes an almost disregarded tension. Not only are their generational differences, but teens are being taught to value differently than what may be appreciated in their own heritage. Sometimes, the matters are trivial, or at least to one party, and sometimes the matters are catastrophic, but regardless, a sense of conflict builds up in the family and is not essentially understood or communicated.

            When Lorena’s story presented itself (p.183-202), I was again electrified by its recognizable narrative. Lorena’s personal story compiled many of my student’s voices into one, both from my girls Leadership Group and from tutoring in previous semesters. At one point, Lorena writes, “I started school the very next day after we arrived…I remember being very scared…everyone was speaking English…and we didn’t know English…”(p.187). I can recall many moments last semester in the classroom setting when I would be walking near students, gently peering over their shoulders as I awaited a student to call me for assistance on homework. 3 of the students in the classroom had just begun their first school year in the Bay area, let alone the States. Their Spanish was strong and delightful to hear, while on the other hand their English was not yet distinct. They were adjusting to, what I can imagine as a culture shock, isolated from friends and family, and also adapting to the constant bombardment of stimulus. I tried my best to use my ‘conversational Spanish” but had difficulty explaining homework as the words were absent from my known vocabulary. I couldn’t help much more than a basic explanation and constant encouragement. I still wonder if they feel like outsiders and if I added to their feelings of seclusion, as I know they felt from what the teachers told me…

In my experiences in high school and life, I have seen and specifically heard racist and stereotypical remarks, especially toward Mexicans. Some of the misconceptions and judgments people have are geared toward what the privileged label as a ‘lower culture and/or a people that don’t love or respect America.’ Lorena writes that she is “all for that, for speaking English, for respecting the country because [she] loves it” (p.198) Her words stick to my heart, “I really don’t know what to call myself now. I’m Mexican…or I guess I’m Mexican-American. I love both countries” (p.199). Although I have not had a direct conversation with a student at Canal Alliance about this, I was informed of its realities among immigrants and people of cultural heritage by a teacher at C.A. Many of the students I work with came to America at some point in their childhood, or they were born here but their parents were ‘first-generation.’ Within this context, young teens often struggle with identity to a culture or country. They are engrained with a sense of heritage from personal experience or familial tradition, yet these customs are not supported in any public sphere in the U.S. especially in school. Sometimes, they feel the need or pressure to repress their beliefs and culture or even feel confused by the mixed messages. It’s sad to me that some people assume that when they see a Mexican flag or hear Mexican music that the individual playing it is somehow showing “hate speech” against America, when it never has the intention of that. People, especially those removed from their norms, are connected to rich traditions and heritage that is often misunderstood, as those judging have never been displaced from their homes. The point in all of it is that ‘they’ want and deserve to be here just as much as ‘we’ do and ‘they’ love this country, just as much as ‘we’ do (or maybe even more because they often appreciate their ‘new’ lives more). The simple fact is that they should longer be seen as removed from us by race, because in the end, WE are all just humans, diversified in cultures sometimes alike and sometime different, but all carrying the heart of humans who care and want to be cared for.